Life in Clear View

As we process our thoughts and feelings, we can view life in clear view. My daughter Krista loved to write poems and songs. Like many of us, it was her way of processing and sorting her many thoughts, feelings, and struggles. She had a wide range of interests and talents, along with a carefree approach to life, which is part of what made her so fun to be with. But now that she had graduated from High School, she was trying to process, figure out, and bring her life into clear view.

Responsibility abruptly confronted Krista when she moved into an apartment with a friend. Paying for rent and bills was not something that came easily to her care-free spirit. She loved to have fun but was beginning to see that there was more to life than simply having fun. At the same time, she was troubled by her observation of the “shallowness” that making money your number one goal can produce.

In Search of Purpose and Balance

Being a girl of strong principle and conviction, she decided she was not going to seek after money. Consequently, this became a dichotomy of interests for her, realizing that money was also essential to living on her own and being a responsible citizen. So her reality journey began, seeking to find equilibrium in a world of materialism and pleasure-seeking.

While pursuing the balance of responsibility and purpose, Krista also began to intentionally seek God and His ways. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). 

Becoming aware that a lot of people, young and old, looked up to her, she realized she could not simply live for herself. She struggled with finding this balance of responsibility and being the unique individual God intended her to be. While longing for a clear view of God’s purpose for her life, she wrote this rap/poem. 

Life Isn’t Easy

Yo, life isn’t easy and fun is not free
If I had it my way it’d be all about me.

But life is too short, I’m beginning to see,
to be something I’m not, so I’ll just be me.

I sit here longing for simpler days,
but if learning was easy, we’d all be getting A’s.

In the workplace you know you gotta earn yourself a raise
But when I look to the future, I see a foggy haze.

In this world that we live, we’re lured this way and that,
drawn to what appeases, it’s a sad but true fact.

Sometimes I live for the moment and not ahead
I don’t love the sight of blood just because it’s red.

Do I embrace my convictions or just turn my head?
If I can’t live with purpose, then what lies ahead?

I have so much inside but how much do I give?
God created me with purpose before I was born
Yet nineteen years later I sit here so torn
Between the fountain of right and the valley of wrong
and find myself questioning just where I belong.

But the answer is simple, straight-ahead into clear view
So why is so hard to decide just what to do?

Surrender

Krista loved God and was raised believing scripture to be true, but struggled for a time, living it out. Likewise, we all may know something to be true, but without a genuine surrender and relinquish of our control, it’s next to impossible to walk it out. Hence, every believer inevitably comes to a crossroads where surrender to God is required in order to go forward in becoming who He intends us to be.

Inevitably, while going forward, we will also encounter places that require letting go with a fresh surrender to Him. I believe the poem below was an expression of one of those places of surrender for Krista. Krista cried out to God for help, surrendered, and then drew a line in the sand.

Somethings Happening in Me

Somethings happening in me, something deep within that eyes cannot see.
There comes a time in life that you just have to let go.
In this turning away and in this letting go
I’m leaning on you again, I’m loving my life again, I’m living my life for you again.

Here I am Lord, bowing at your throne,
Embracing all you are, and all you’ve ever done.
I can’t believe you died to save a wretch like me;
Giving me the opportunity to share this love with all I see.
You’ve given me responsibility, and I plan to use all of my abilities.

You’re opening my eyes and helping me realize,
and stirring up a hunger deep inside.
Each time I fall you pick me up and tell me I’m your own.
While I’m on bended knee, you empower me to see, the only life I have begins with you alone.

God give me wisdom, God give me strength,
Grant me understanding; overwhelm me with your grace.
God use my words as an instrument that brings glory to your name;
and each time doubt comes my way, remind me it’s all for your glory and fame. 

Processing is important, but, as believers, we need to do it through the lens of the TRUTH and the context of scripture. In conclusion, it’s in letting go of our own agendas that we become free from the chains of self that prevent us from truly loving God and serving others. Surrender to God is the only antidote against self-preference and self-preservation that constantly knock at our broken and self-seeking hearts. “Self” endeavors to prevent us from living and loving the abundant life God has freely given to us all. In other words, when we “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33), we will see LIFE IN CLEAR VIEW.

To read more of our story go to my book page @After The Crash

I’d love to hear from you, so please scroll down and leave me a comment and please remember that you are eternally loved. There was no beginning and there will be no end to God’s love for you!