Krista loved to write poems and songs. It was her way of processing and sorting her many thoughts, feelings, and struggles. She had a wide range of interests and talents, along with a carefree approach to life. This was part of what made her so fun to be with. But now that she had graduated from High School, she was trying to figure out her life’s purpose in clear view.

Krista was confronted with responsibility when she moved into an apartment with a friend. Paying for rent and bills was not something that came naturally to her care-free spirit. Krista loved to have fun but was beginning to see that there’s more to life than fun and games. On the other hand, she was troubled by observing the wreckage that making money your number one goal and “climbing the ladder of success” can do.

Krista was a girl of strong principle. She decided she was not going to seek after money. This soon became a dichotomy of interests for her after realizing that money was essential to live on her own. Setting out to find her equilibrium in a world of materialism and pleasure-seeking, stirred up some soul searching for Krista.

In the pursuit of this purpose for her life, Krista began to seek the Lord and His ways. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33).

Becoming aware that a lot of people, young and old, looked up to her, it became clear to her that she could not simply live for herself. She wrestled with finding a balance of being who God made her to be, and still have a clear view of God’s purpose for her life. This rap/poem was a product of that struggle and written within the last year she was here with us.

Yo, life isn’t easy and fun is not free
If I had it my way it’d be all about me.

But life is too short, I’m beginning to see,
to be something I’m not, so I’ll just be me.

I sit here longing for simpler days,
but if learning was easy, we’d all be getting A’s.

In the workplace you know you gotta earn yourself a raise
But when I look to the future, I see a foggy haze.

In this world that we live, we’re lured this way and that,
drawn to what appeases, it’s a sad but true fact.

Sometimes I live for the moment and not ahead
I don’t love the sight of blood just because it’s red.

Do I embrace my convictions or just turn my head?
If I can’t live with purpose, then what lies ahead?

I have so much inside but how much do I give?
God created me with purpose before I was born
Yet 19 years later I sit here so torn
Between the fountain of right and the valley of wrong
and find myself questioning just where I belong.

But the answer is simple, straight ahead in clear view
So why is so hard to decide just what to do?

*Go to “Somethings Happening in me” Blog Post for the sequel.